Sunday, December 5, 2010

Christmas 1996

 Christmas 1996

The dilemma lingered on all morning.  Should I do laundry, pick up the kids playroom, decorate the Christmas tree, or do the Christmas letter?  It was a painful decision…but here is the 1996 edition of the Ellwing Christmas letter.

The first thing we need to discuss is the fact that the kids are not getting any easier.  This fact is a main cause of  Steve and my distress.  We were certain that by the time they could go potty all by themselves, we should be home free!  Somewhere in the baby books, they forgot to mention the demand on the parents does not decrease- it changes.  The biggest change we are experiencing is the decrease in drinking time.  When the kids were younger, the first move we made after work was to the bar for a martini. All of a sudden this year I have “Kid Commitments”.  On Monday, we have Brownie and Daisy Girl Scout meetings (yeah, I got talked into being the leader), on Thursdays (can you believe this) Church Choir, on Fridays, Cassie has choir, and on Sundays (this one’s going to really kill you…) I teach Sunday school.  I quickly learned that it is not a good idea to teach sixteen 3rd graders about Jesus with a headache from a hangover.  Therefore, these kids are messing up our lifestyle, and we’re getting darned tired of it.

Steve has a new name: Mr. Kappa Sigma.  No kidding…ask anybody, even his boss.  It’s so bad, that he doesn’t even answer to “Winger” anymore.  So, if you call the house…that would be the actual home where his wife and kids live, not the Kappa Sigma fraternity house (an easy mistake to make, since he spends approximately the same amount of time in both places), make sure you ask for Mr. Kappa Sig.  Steve tells we the renovation of the frat house is almost completed, but I won’t be convinced until the blueprints are gone from my kitchen counter. When I enter the newly designed “hallowed halls”, then I will believe.  Steve’s still with the AMA – how boring, to keep the same job year after year.

Speaking of boring, I have been with my job for almost two years now.  Is that a record or what?  Must be the three-hour commute.  I’ll do anything for a little piece and quiet.

As for he girls – aren’t they supposed to love one another and co-exist in peaceful harmony?  Why do they fight so much? How could they be so different? Why do they need so much? Why is everything that happens in their life a tragedy? Who said having children would fulfill our lives?

Cassie is still in elementary school (3rd grade), and the reality of the real world has hit.  She has to learn her multiplication tables.  How could life be so cruel? Cassie’s in Red Rose Children’s choir, the Sears modeling club, and has two boyfriends.  She’s not yet married.

Calley is now in kindergarten. Just to get to her sister, she’s learned cursive first, so that Cassie doesn’t have anything over her.  She’s planning to learn to print at the convenience.  Her life’s goal; is to out-do Cassie at everything.  If she cannot do it better, then her mission is to taunt and tease Cassie.  Everything Calley does is calculated and plotted, so that all goes exactly to plan.  That includes her favorite game, “drive the parents nuts”.  Basically, the game goes like this: pretend you do not hear the parent until the parent’s face is bright red, then smile sweetly and say, “Did you say something?”

We’ll be at the Citrus Bowl on New Years Day. Go CATS!






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