Christmas 2006

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from the Ellwing Household, 2006!

First, I must dedicate this letter to my dear friend Holly Roberts.  Holly lost her valiant battle with cancer. Holly adored my Christmas letters. She stoically stayed positive, refusing to accept pity or sympathy. In fact, Holly supported her friends and family as we struggled with her diagnosis.  Sigh…another angel looking down.

It has been a relatively quiet year (in Ellwing terms) this year. Let’s start with the darling children. 

Cassie came home from Montana in June.  I drove all by myself to pick her up.  It was so much fun – just me – NO STEVE, NO KIDS! I stopped when and where I wanted, and just meandered throughout the country.  I arrived in Montana, acquired Cassie, and started back to Illinois.  Cassie was intent upon getting home, but I have never been in the mountains, so I decided to get off the expressway at the “Yellowstone Mountains” exit.   I had so much fun! We went from hot, dry weather to rain, to snow, and then back down. I put the new PT cruiser convertible top down, put the car in neutral, and flew down the mountains.  I found some dude in a trailer selling Buffalo and Elk jerky in the snow.  Cassie stayed in the car, embarrassed, while Mom walked through the snow in her shorts and tee shirt.  Did you know, unlike in the Midwest when you get off an exit, in the mountains, there is no easy “on”.  Eight hours after I took my little detour, we got back to the highway.  Eight hours to advance 20 miles.  Cassie was not pleased!

While I was on the road picking up Cassie, poor Calley was left at home with Steve. Calley kept calling me, telling me that her dad did not feed her, and there was no food in the house.  Finally, our last day on the road, when Calley called to tell me there was no milk, I told Calley to walk to the grocery store and charge the groceries she needed on her dad’s credit card. Calley was apparently very, very, very hungry – and had not been medicated.  The bill at the grocery store? $429.00.  After VISA called saying there was “suspicious activity on the card”, Calley returned about $200.00 worth of produce to the customer service desk.  They were not impressed.  Neither was Steve.

We remodeled the basement so that Cassie had her own apartment.  How cool – an apartment with a bedroom, living room, kitchen and bathroom!  We were so proud as Cassie enrolled in the College of Lake County full time, and began working at Blockbuster.  In true Ellwing fashion, she has changed her mind, and has enrolled at Lincoln College.  So much for all my work designing the apartment. Calley says “Wahoo”; she’s under the mistaken impression that this is her high school party center. Which leads me to a warning to parents: Basement crawl spaces seem to be a favorite place to store high school boys.  Beware.

Jake wins the genius prize this year. After being cured of my asthma (and Steve of his snoring) by an Ecoquest Air purifier, I signed up as a dealer for the Ecoquest healthy living products.  Out newest and most exciting product this year is called “Laundry Pure”, a device that goes between the cold water and washing machine. Laundry pure conditions the water so that the customer never needs hot water, detergent, bleach or fabric softeners. One problem, the Laundry Pure unit is not compatible with only one washing machine – a very expensive, high-speed washing machine from New Zealand from a small company called Fisher- Paykal. Steve bought me a Fisher-Paykal washer almost a year ago.  The incompatibility with the Fisher-Paykal makes the washer sound the “off balance” alarm. I tried many strategies over a couple of months, and nothing seemed to work.  But wait!  If I make the middle of the washer heavier, then the “off balance” indicator might not go off.  I opened the agitator, put a weight into the agitator, and then closed it back up.  All was going well, until a bomb went off in the laundry room. The sound of the explosion was deafening, and I ran down to the laundry room.  The weight did its job… until the spin cycle engaged.  The weight became an airborne propellant, flew up through the lid of the washer (leaving a large hole in the lid) and landed up on the opposite side

side of the laundry room, leaving an indentation in the wall.  The steel housing for the basket in the machine tore off the machine and lay sideways with various parts scattered on the floor. My comment to Calley?  “Oops, that experiment failed.”  We laughed  - until Steve came home.  His “hi honey” gave me great hope- was he in a good mood? I said, “oh, you’re in a good mood”, then his voice abruptly dropped several octaves, “Why?”  “Because I kinda broke the washing machine”, I said. Steve replied, “That’s OK, it’s under warranty”. Sheepishly, I quietly replied, “Not for this…” For the next couple of days I heard, “What kind of idiot puts a weight in a high-speed washer?”

Speaking of Ecoquest, Steve told his cab driver from Russia about the opportunity to sell Ecoquest.  Wishing to become a “Rich American”, he told his friends both here in the US and in Russia.  Before I could take a breath, Russians were everywhere, calling my cell phone at all hours, “visiting” me at my special ed classroom (looking very much like the Russian mafia- raincoats and all, which terrified all the kids), meeting me at the local library and coming to my house. Since none of them have any money, I’ve fronted them the equipment, and now I am thousands of dollars in the hole.  Thanks, Steve.

An update from last year’s letter: I helped deliver my student’s baby girl in March – now Steve and I are parents… don’t panic, my student now is considered a part of our family, and calls us “mom and dad”. Her baby was adopted in an open adoption agreement, and all is well.

Update to this letter this weekend.  Calley blacked out on Friday morning and smashed her head, face and spine on the way down.  Steve left for work, and we had plans to go downtown.  I iced Calley’s swollen parts, and sent her on to school.  I asked Steve to call Calley’s neurologist to make an appointment.  The neurologist wanted Calley in immediately!  What? Her parents are headed downtown? Who’s her doctor? Who’s her psychiatrist? What medications is she on? Steve’s response. “Ummm, I don’t know”.  The office was horrified, Calley could be having seizures, or lack of oxygen to her brain…where is the child? Steve sheepishly replied, “my wife took her to school…”Luckily, Calley survived our overnight excursion.

Ralph, the peeing, pooping stupid dog FINALLY had it and went to the big doggie dog run in the sky.  At last, we were down one pet!  Until Cassie arrived with a kitten.  I can’t win!

Thanks so much to you for continuing to sponsor me in the Susan Komen breast cancer walk. The strides we’ve made since my mom died are awesome.  Someday, with your continued help, we will find a cure. I found Calley’s “support” in her room-

Speaking of Calley – she dislocated her shoulder four times so far this season.  Not bad! The orthopedic surgeon says it’s only a matter of time before we’re looking towards MRI’s and surgery.  Oh, Joy!

And speaking of joy, may this season and the following year fill you with much joy!

Jake (Steve, Cassie and Calley