Christmas 2005!

Christmas Letter 2005 from the Ellwing Family

Christmas Stories: As soon as I sent out last year’s letter, I had material for this year. Thanks to my family for being so obliging! Lazy Steve and Calley chose not to cut down our tree this year – instead, they bought a tree at a nursery.  They got a Balsam, because “Balsams do not shed their needles”.  We cut off two inches and put Mr. Balsam into the stand.  Jake couldn’t stop giggling as she put the lights on the tree.  Every time I touched a branch, the entire branch tinkled down all its needles. It was the coolest sound!  Steve wasn’t as amused, and went back to the nursery. The only tall tree remaining was a tree for reserved for planting, but during transfer, lost its “ball”. The tree was 17 feet tall, so we took off two feet from the bottom, and one foot from the top.  Steve and I spent all night, fire blazing, listening to Christmas carols and admiring our beautiful tree and adorning it with ALL our favorite ornaments. The next morning – CRASH - over it went – stand and all.  We cleaned up all the shattered glass from our beloved ornaments, and then used rope to secure the top of the tree to the loft. Tiggy thought that the rope was for her, so she kept “batting” at it, causing the tree to sway, and everyone to yell –“Tiggy – no”!  The tree was taken down the day after Christmas.

Animal Stories: On Good Friday, Gabby the Quaker Parrot, died and was buried. Ginger loves to dig holes in the dirt, and I watched the “grave” like a hawk because I knew the kids would freak out if on the 3^rd day he rose from the dead! Soon after Gabby’s demise, Calley’s lovebird keeled over.  Don’t know the cause of death; burial was done before the autopsy could be arranged. We promised the girls we would go to a local bird show and look for new pets. But wait…the same week… a friend of mine was looking for a “bird” home for her double yellow Amazon, Henry. How could I say no????? Unfortunately (for Steve) we had already committed to taking the girls to the bird show…enter cockatiel “Punky” and Indian Ringneck “Pickles”.  Calley has been bugging me for a creature called a “Sugar Glider.”  Finally, she won out after I met one- they’re adorable, and we needed another pet in the house. Tiggy especially likes “Meeko”, and spends nights watching this nocturnal marsupial run around its cage. I’m sure she’d never hurt Meeko…really…except…while Jake was walking the breast cancer 3Day; I got a frantic call from Calley. “Someone” left one of the birdcage doors ajar, and Tiggy kind-of accidentally ate baby cockatiel “Punky”.  Now, the cat spends days terrorizing the surviving birds and Pickles meows at us.

Calley found out Henry was a female, so she provided her necessary supplies! (See picture)

Speaking of animal lovers – Everyone in Jake’s family has animals, so we have a rule about visiting critters at Christmas – they are not invited. Aunt Sharon (Jake’s sis) really loves her dogs! She didn’t have anywhere to board them over last Christmas.  Here are some excerpts of her e-mailing a solution to me! Oh course; it was -25 degree wind-chill, actual temperature – 6 degrees on Christmas!

“I’ll be sleeping in my van with Marley and Sierra because that way I’ll know if it gets too cold for my babies, plus I wouldn’t be able to sleep soundly knowing they were out there cold and scared. Also, I sleep best curled up with them and they can’t get under the blankets on their own, so we will be one warm cozy mass of assorted flesh.  I know it sounds stupid to you, but they are my kids, ...they LOVE their Mama, so that’s what I must do.”  Yep, Sharon, it does sound stupid to me!

Kid Stories: Did you know that black spray paint on the lawn kills the grass? We were displeased about this, so Calley came up with a solution and applied paint remover to remove the paint. This convenient time saver effectively kills all remaining weeds, at a fraction of the price of weed killer!

How does Calley Ellwing (and friends) keep cool on a 90 degree June day?  Why, have a snowball fight, of course.  Using a kid’s snow-cone maker latched onto a huge aluminum tub, and running the snow-cone maker full-time for three hours (rigging a by-pass of the emergency off mechanism), and using 6 large bags of ice, they finally had the tub full of “snow”.  The snowball fight was deemed a success!

Calley’s English student teacher doesn’t like her much and I think I know what the problem might be...Calley had her head down on her desk, and the student teacher came over and said, “you can’t put your head on your desk”, so she leaned over, picked up her backpack, set it on the desk, and put her head on the backpack! THAT’S MY KID!!!!  

Calley got a concussion at her last cheerleading competition. No, not “flying” but during a tumbling sequence. She was totally disorientated and kept running into her team-mates, and dropping her stunts. No one saw the kick, so after the performance, I was disgusted with her, shut off my camera, and went back to my seat. I waited for Calley to show up so we  could “discuss” what the heck she was doing out there! What I didn’t know was, while I was swearing and going back to my seat, Calley had collapsed off the spring mat, and was being attended to by the paramedics. Oops!     

Cassie is spending her high school senior year combining school and the great outdoors. She is where the buffalo roam, and the deer and the antelope play. She’s attending school in the picturesque state of Montana. We’re eager to see her when she comes home for Christmas Break.  What a unique experience, we hope she will take advantage of all she learns this year. I know one thing; she’s become tremendously proficient at calling and asking us to send innumerable “care packages”. We’ve become frequent flyers at Fed-ex!

Steve Stories: Did anyone see the end of the Northwestern – Iowa game?  Steve and all his Northwestern buddies abandoned me and our Iowa friends at the game with 4 minutes remaining. It was, literally, me, all the Iowa fans, and the NU band in the stands!! Oh, by the way, the game was an instant classic with Northwestern pulling a miraculous recovery and winning the game in the final seconds.  Too bad the “die-hard” NU fans missed it when Ross Lane caught a 9-yard touchdown pass from Brett Basanez with 42 seconds remaining to give Northwestern another wild victory (28-27).

Steve has been having contact lenses difficulties. He solved the problem when he was in Arizona a couple of weeks ago. It seems he forgot to pack his contact case. Usually Steve puts his contacts in his mouth to clean them, but for overnight safety, he put them in a glass of water in the hotel bathroom. Unfortunately, when you consume alcohol, you tend to get dehydrated and need water during the night.  My special rocket-scientist hubby woke up thirsty in the middle of the night and had a drink of water – by-by contacts! The search team was unable to locate them…

I woke to a loud “bang” followed by a “thud” in the bathroom at 3 AM last Sunday. I found a horrible scene in the bathroom. Steve lying face up naked in the Jacuzzi tub. Apparently, he lost his equilibrium and somehow fell in.  I secretly wanted to grab the digital camera, but knew that idea might get me into trouble! I made the statement, “why, this is interesting…” and pulled him out. Of course, the next morning, he couldn’t move. I gave him muscle relaxants, and he became extremely relaxed, as he sang, “ There was an old woman who swallowed a fly” for hours, followed by the rhetorical question: “Why would you stick a feather in your cap and call it macaroni”, then received a standing ovation for his rendition of “Hey diddle diddle… “ Steve couldn’t make it to church because he just got out of the tub! Diagnosis: rib contusions and bruises. He’ll live.

Jake Stories: Remember my lost wedding ring? I found it in May. Next time I put it in a “safe place”, remind me not to. Although my left finger was “single” for a year, I got no offers. Perhaps that’s an indication that I need to start exercising again!

ABT, the store where I got my carpet shampooer, sees Steve or me at least once a month , thanks to Ralph, the stupid dog that won’t die! He CONTINUES to poop and pee in our house. ABT will never allow me another extended warranty – the Hoover has a permanent yellow work order taped to it that says,  “Rush job” – sad, isn’t it?

Three weeks before the 3Day, I tripped over our dog gate, tumbled into the tile entryway, and landed with my lower left rib cage directly on Cassie’s overturned high heel wooden clog  (which, by the way, didn’t belong in the entryway!). The diagnosis was contusions and fractured ribs, with recovery period an estimated 6-12 months. Undaunted, the “We’re not Right” team, Vicodin and I completed the 3day. I found out that coughing can be an adventure, and it’s IMPOSSIBLE to get in and out of a tent and sleeping bag without re-fracturing ribs.

Cherished Friend Stories: Speaking of the 3Day, Thanks to all my heroes for your generosity in supporting my efforts to eliminate Breast Cancer by sponsoring me in the Breast Cancer 3Day, 60-mile walk.

May God Bless each of you!