Christmas 2009 - Merry Christmas to all!
January 1st, 2009…already forgot my new year’s resolutions from the night before… Speaking of the night before, our street always has a New Years Eve celebration. Steve was responsible for the entrée – barbequed beef. Steve secretly wants to be a gourmet chef. He has the talent, but his timing is usually off by about 2 hours, so that the guests have to be woken up when it is time to dine. But, that’s a whole other story. Anyway, the chef spent days making this barbequed beef. All the ingredients had to be fresh; the spices perfect; the beef from the butcher shop had to be marinated, sliced and prepared JUST SO! Finally, the creation was cooked to perfection and was ready to go across the street to the party. New Years Eve ‘08 was very very cold. Steve proudly balanced the heavy pot on his knee as he reached to open the front door. In slow motion, the pot became unbalanced, falling, hitting Steve’s leg, and ending up upside down on the front porch and steps to the house while gushing into the entryway. Just like in “A Christmas Story”, our dinner was gone! The heavenly aroma still hung in the house. But it was gone, all gone! No barbequed beef! No beef sandwiches! No! Gone, ALL GONE! Immediately after spilling, the beef solution FROZE to the cement and the threshold. Attempts were made to shovel the solution into trash bags. This was partially successful – with much of the meal remaining frozen to the concrete. Worse yet, the meal that looked so good in the pan looked like vomit in the doorway. It was a gory scene!
Unfortunately, Steve’s mother now needs the care of a nursing home due to Alzheimer’s. There is some good news though. We see Steve’s dad frequently now, and he and Steve have been able to have some long overdue “bonding” by going to a Blackhawks game, White Sox game and a Northwestern game. And the best…right now Steve and I are on a cruise with Steve’s dad. Three of us in one room! Bathroom wars! Great fun trying to get dressed for formal night! The girls were not invited. They are staying home. I gave our neighbors the telephone number for our lawyer.
Speaking of Cruises, last year I thought I had lost my husband to the Spanish authorities. Our repositioning cruise ended in Barcelona. We had confirmed seats home, and proceeded to the Lufthansa check-in. Imagine our surprise when we found our flight had been cancelled. Lufthansa had no new flight info. We had been re-booked on “some airline”. We were given a telephone number to call. Problem #1 - our cell phones were US only, no international calls. Problem #2 – we were unable to communicate on how to use the public phones. Problem #3- The “help desk” was no help. Problem #4 – the phone card Steve bought at the gift shop didn’t work. Problem #5 – The public phones did not work. Problem 6- after Steve visited the “help desk” for the 5th time, he was livid (which meant a REALLY red face.). There were some nasty words coming from his lips. He told me to stay by the phones with our luggage and took off in a rage. 30 minutes…45 minutes…60 minutes…no Steve. Problem #7 – He had my passport with him! So now I am stuck in Barcelona with no passport, unable to speak a word of Spanish, and am convinced that Steve was arrested for causing a scene in the Barcelona airport! 90 minutes later, he calmly strolled back to tell me that we would need to book our own tickets (4,000 euro) or stay in Barcelona. We flew home, relieved to get out of there without any arrests.
I am noticing that all my friends my age look the same. It’s called menopause. My youngest child is 18 years old and I still can’t get rid of the baby fat. Actually, it reappeared magnified. It’s like being pregnant with no due date (and no working parts). The good news is I have a built-in flotation device for swimming! I do feel like ripping up all the “one size fits all” clothes signs at the mall, though!
Yet another family member has gone. My brother Jerry died at the way too young age of 54. He has left a legacy of “Jerryisms” behind. Some of my favorites: “The Occupied” is the bathroom; “Purple Nuisances” means Northwestern’s football team; “mowing the carpet” means vacuuming; Canadian whisky LTD was called “Lots to drink”; “The Lump”was Cassie during her teen years; “Action” was the name for Calley. My terminally negative sister was “TPO” (for the pleasant one), and my sister in Door County was “The Frump” because of her classic Wisconsin attire. He loved the old TV shows, so “Morticia” was his cat; “Rosie” was the Roomba vacuum’s name. He used an old heavy black telephone with the cloth cord, and shared a “party line” with a very, very old man. He was a unique individual!
Jerry’s wake was a classic event. Jerry decided before he died that he should be put in a “box” (casket) for a one-day wake. He didn’t leave any further instructions, so we did it the Jerry way, including tailgating outside the funeral home, removing the funeral home’s morbid CD’s and replacing them with Grateful Dead tunes. We also brought his “Dead” tee-shirts and put them over the mourner’s chairs. The finishing touch was when my girls draped a Grateful Dead tee shirt over the coffin. He would have approved.
Pickles, our Ringneck Parrot has had an adolescent “I’m smarter than you humans” attitude this year. A month ago, he was out of his cage, and REFUSED to come to me. Imagine this; I am trying to run down a bird that is FLYING through the house. He would stop until I almost could grab him, and then joyfully take off again. The chase continued with me looking like an idiot! Pickles was flying while looking back (I swear it) when CRASH!!! Into the glass door he went. The stupid bird fractured his beak all the way down to his nares. Before he went into emergency surgery, I told the veterinarian that he deserved it…the vet was not impressed…
We finally have the son we never had. His name is Dan. He used to visit Cassie here all the time. Then he was in our house all the time…all the time…including when Cassie went back to college. He eats dinner with us. He has a remote for our garage. He is ours.
Calley has been very busy. She caught a basket toss (cheerleading) and destroyed her ACL and meniscus. Destroyed, so it was not even visible on MRI. Living with a female teen is torture. Living with a teen that cannot cheer and has had reconstructive surgery is murder! Speaking of Calley, if you sent her anything for graduation, let this letter be your thank-you as she cannot locate the cards she wrote last summer. She wrote them…”really Mom, I did”…
Cassie got to keep my 1999 Infinity (while Calley got a new/used car) because she is a car slob! Cassie kept complaining that things were wrong with the car. The last complaint was that the car was making a funny noise under the hood. Nonsense, I told her, and took the car to the repair shop to prove it to her. The mechanic called me and said, “You’ve got to see this”. The frame had totally rusted out and the engine was falling out of the car! But…the trans, engine, brakes and tires are in perfect condition - the mechanic said “I would not allow anyone I love to drive this car. Ever. Even around the block”. DRAT!
Steve is STILL with the AMA. A miracle happened, After years of nagging, I finally got him to utilize “alternative medicine” (chiropractor) – amazing, and he likes it! I’m still special with special ed.
Our e-mail addresses: Steve - lwingjr@yahoo.com; Jake – Jakellwing@yahoo.com; Cassie – cassandraann123@yahoo.com; Calley – Dolphinangel9292@msn.com
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