Christmas 2004

Christmas 2004

You know those little plastic knives they sell to carve pumpkins?  Buy one – NOW! I decided  to bake pumpkin seeds for he birds.  I didn’t have much time, so I used a large butcher knife to quickly slice the pumpkin in half.  The knife got stuck, and I yanked and yanked, but it wouldn’t come loose.  I secured the pumpkin with my hand and arm so I could win this battle of the pumpkin. Splat… the knife plunged deep into my palm. The nurse in me said “sutures”, the mom in me said “no time”.  I tried everything, even super glue, to force the slash to stay together, but between the depth of penetration and the fact that palms sweat, it was to no avail.  The wound finally healed from the inside out 4 months later.  I still have the bump and scar.  Bad move!

One crisp November morning, I was running late and had one more load of laundry to get in before I went to work.  The telephone rang – Calley calling from school.  She again forgot that she was in charge of snacks for her class. I frantically opened all the cupboard doors, “there’s got to be something in this house”. Nope. Big sigh. I sped to the grocery store, grabbed the first chips I could find and proceeded on for my almost daily delivery to the middle school.  “You know, if I hurry and if I get all the green lights, I bet I can still get those jeans in the washer!” At the stop sign in front of the school, I rudely looked at the guy stopped to my left, then gunned it around the corner. Lights started flashing behind me. Yep, I snagged myself an unmarked police car.  As I sat in the car in my seasonal attire of stained tee shirt and shorts, the lieutenant looked at my driver’s license. “Ellwing, why does that name sound so familiar? He asked.  Sheepishly, I replied , because I’m kinda involved in Red Ribbon Week, National Night Out, A-MAY-Zing Mundelein, and I’m area neighborhood watch captain…the lieutenant smile; “I kinda beat you to that stop sign!”  My reply, I kinda know.  Officer Friendly said, “Have a good day”, smiling at me as he handed back my license.  I dropped off the treats, went home, put in the laundry, and was late to work.

A major crisis occurred before Christmas last year…our icemaker broke.  In the Ellwing household, this is equivalent to a death in the family…no icemaker, no Christmas!  Emergency delivery was scheduled for Christmas Eve day afternoon.  At  11 am, Sears called, they were arriving right now. Family and friends zipped and tripped over one another grabbing all the holiday food from the refridge and “disrobing” the magnets, coupons, school reminders and photos that took residence there.  I dashed to Steve’s car to move it for the Sears truck. Just as I started to back down the driveway, my brother started waving frantically from the house.  I ran into the house to find my father (a diabetic) unresponsive.  As Steve dialed 911, my father became combative. I yelled for help, and my brother (who has congestive heart failure) and I attempted to restrain dad.  Next thing I knew, the Sears truck was barreling down the street, with the paramedics unit (sirens on) in hot pursuit.  Both the Sears guys and the paramedics ran towards the house.  It developed into a fight to the finish, the Sears guys wanted to wrap up this last delivery and go home for Christmas Eve, and the paramedics who were trying to rush past them to get to my dad. My brother was now on the floor, gasping for breath, and the paramedics weren’t sure which patient needed assistance first!  I left the Sears guys, the refridge, the family and the paramedics to take a shower so I wouldn’t be stinky at the hospital.  Dad rebounded after the IV’s and came back home to admire the new refridge and icemaker.

This was an interesting year for Jake and Jewelry.  In February, Calley’s cheer club was one of 300 teams competing in Minneapolis, MN. I escorted them to the Mall of America for a little shopping.  I went to the washroom to wash my hands, and , “Oh My GOD!” noticed that my diamond was missing from my ring.  I searched the Mall of America for hours, head down, stopping at every glittery object. Do you have any idea what it is like to look for a diamond on the floor of a mall inhabited by 3,000 glittered-up cheerleaders? Then, in March, we went on a cruise where Calley learned her new passion is handing out till all hours at the piano bar learning the words and parody versions of Jimmy Buffet, Don MacLean and other assorted pre-80”s artists’ songs (no-the acorn doesn’t fall far from the Steve tree). After we got home, I opened the box that’s supposed to hold my Omega, and…you guessed it!  Of course, the cruise line couldn’t find it. After we finally replaced my diamond (probably laying among one hundred pounds of hairspray and glitter in some landfill right now), I promised myself I would be more careful  with my jewelry; so when I decided to do some remodeling and fixer-upper projects this summer, I decided to put my new ring away in a safe hiding place where nothing would happen to it. I did a good job – if anyone has any idea where I hid my “new” diamond ring, please call me!  Steve would appreciate it.   

Merry Christmas!